This is my Destiny
by wondering why i
Summary: Good or evil, natural or supernatural, Dean knows one thing. Sam’s his sister and he loves her, will protect her and keep her safe from anything and anyone, will stand by her no matter what. Girl!Sam/Dean WINCEST.


**Title:** This is my Destiny

**Pairing(s)/Rating:** Girl!Sam/Dean, NC-17

**Word count:** 3300

**Summary:** Good or evil, natural or supernatural, Dean knows one thing. Sam's his sister and he loves her, will protect her and keep her safe from anything and anyone, will stand by her no matter what.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own or claim to own anything from Supernatural.

**Notes:** Beta read by catmint. Title from Destiny by Syntax.

Dean always knew that there was something different about his sister. People would always tell Dad and tell him that Sam was so sweet, such a nice, polite, young girl, but Dean knew. He saw it in the way Sam looked at those people when their backs were turned. Those weren't the looks a sweet and innocent little girl would give another human. Those were the looks of something evil, calculating, dangerous.

Sam had another look that Dean knew people wouldn't believe her capable of. A look she gave only to him. A look she got when she straddled his lap and ran her hands up and down his chest right before capturing his lips in a heated kiss, teeth biting, nails scratching, hips rocking.

The Sammy the world got to see would never do such things, never think of such things.

He thinks Dad might know something. Know about Sam or know about them, maybe even both. He's never said anything but Dean has caught him watching Sam.

Dean's not sure he wants to know the truth, himself - plausible deniability.

Good or evil, natural or supernatural, Dean knows one thing. Sam's his sister and he loves her, will protect her and keep her safe from anything and anyone, will stand by her no matter what.

He gets to prove that loyalty when he walks into the motel manager's office, ready to complain about the broken radiator and finds Sam standing over the manager's dead body, a letter opener sticking out of his chest.

"He tried to rape me," Sam tells Dean with a shrug. "I was scared."

She's shaking in his arms as they stand outside in the windy parking lot. An EMT hurries over to hand her a blanket and she gives him a shaky smile. The tears fall from her eyes with ease as she tells a police officer what Dean is sure never happened. Dean can see it in his face, the belief that this is a terrible accident, a case of self defence meant to harm but not kill.

"Can I go now? Please?"

"Of course," the officer assures as he closes his notebook before turning to Dean. "She should rest. I'll let my partner know you can go back to your room."

The tears and shaking disappear the moment their motel room door is closed and Sam's already packing their bags without even bothering to change her bloodied shirt.

"Why'd you do it?" He has to ask. Her answer won't keep him from getting her as far away from this place as he can the minute the sun goes down but he still needs to know. i_Curiosity killed the cat,_/i a voice in his head is telling him. /i_Cat was stupid,_/i Dean finds himself thinking back.

"Does it really matter?" Sam's asking him in return. She knows it doesn't and never will. She has him right where she wants him, wrapped around her little finger, her dutiful, loyal protector. Her big brother, the one person she has shown her true self too.

It's only after they've finished packing their bags and she's left a message to their father telling him not to come back to them but that they'll go to him instead that she finally removes the bloodied shirt and drops it on top of the duffle bag used for their laundry.

She has that look again, the one only he gets to see. He's powerless against it. It reels him in, pushes him towards her and he goes willingly, slides his hands around her waist, and pulls her body close against his. She slips her arms around his neck, he lifts her up and she wraps her legs around his waist while he walks them towards one of the beds before lowering her down onto it.

She's soaking wet and burning hot when he slides in, her eyes are dark. "How much did you like it?" he asks her as he slowly pulls out before sliding back in just as slowly.

"Tease," Sam accuses, pushing her hips up to make him go faster.

"How much?" he asks her again, pulling back out slowly.

"I could have come when I saw the light go out in his eyes."

*

"I dreamed about it," Sam admits a few nights later. They're a few states away and alone again. Dad's spending a day or two at Pastor Jim's – "Just a little research he's got to help me with," Dad told them. – but he's paid up their room for the week, told them to stay put and stay out of trouble. The motel manager is a sweet old lady who offered them cookies when they arrived. Dean's pretty sure she'll live through their visit. "I don't remember much. Remember the office, the letter opener, motel manager lying on the floor."

"Have you had these dreams before?"

"Donald Palmer, Waco, Texas, grade four. He didn't fall off the jungle gym, I pushed him."

*

"That sister of yours, she's not right," the carnival's psychic tells Dean. She's supposed to be telling him his fortune. Dean tries to pull his hand away so he can tell her to mind her own business before getting the hell out but she holds on tight. "She's got evil in her and you know about it. The evil will only grow." Dean pulls his hand back harder and stands up, the chair he was sitting on falls back with the force.

"You," Dean says as he points a finger at her, "have no idea what you're talking about." She follows as he makes to leave and Dean spins around to face her. "Stay the hell away from us," Dean warns, "or she will be the least of your worries."

"She doesn't need you to protect her!" the psychic calls as Dean walks away. "You should protect yourself!"

*

Dad gets injured on a hunt in Oregon. He has a broken leg and a sprained back so he decides to settle down until he can hunt again. He rents a small, two-bedroom cabin by the lake, enrols Sam into another school and tells Dean to find a job.

Dean manages to get three days a week at a scrap yard thanks to Uncle Bobby's reference and another three days stocking shelves and bagging groceries at the local food store. He makes enough money to cover their rent, basic utilities and food, and even has a little extra he can set aside every pay for emergencies. His hours allow him to drive Sam to school every morning and pick her up at school or the library after work.

The school has parent/teacher meetings the week after they arrive and Dean finds himself greeting the teachers that have requested to see their father, explaining about his injury but assuring them that he'll pass on everything they say.

Sammy sits quietly next to him as teacher after teacher praises her behaviour and explains that she's slightly behind on the material due to the change of school but quickly assures him that they have faith she'll catch up in no time.

"Samantha's a wonderful young lady," Sam's chemistry teacher tells him. "So bright!"

Dean sneaks a glance at his sister while the teacher riffles through a filing cabinet in search of notes for what Sam's missing. She's watching her teacher's back with a contemplative look and turns around when she feels Dean's eyes on her. She flashes him a wicked grin which quickly turns into a sweet smile when the teacher returns.

"What were you thinking, back there?" Dean asks her quietly once they've left the chemistry lab.

"She keeps calling me Samantha."

"Samantha's your name," Dean teases.

"It's Sam," she snaps and glares.

"We're going to be in town for a while. Not as long as we should since I'm sure Dad will start hunting before he's fully healed but we'll still be here a while." He hopes she understands what he means. Knows he won't outright tell her not to hurt anyone. Sam only shrugs.

"Accidents happen," she tells him.

*

Dean loves his father and despite the fact that it took an injury, he's glad for the time they currently have to spend as a family but he's also not used to having to watch what he does or what he says when it comes to Sam. She can't be his lover as well as sister when Dad's home. Not if he wants to live to see another day.

"We'll be quiet," Sam keeps telling him.

"Nothing gets past Dad," Dean keeps answering her.

The same argument and answer gets thrown around every night and a few mornings for almost three weeks until Dean loses the fight. It's very early in the morning and Dad's been asleep for two hours when Sam crawls into Dean's bed with that look in her eyes. She straddles his hips, entwines their fingers together and holds their hands on each side of Dean's head preventing him from moving.

She's kissing him and rocking her hips against his and he stops fighting it, gives in.

Sam falls asleep curled up against his side when they're done and Dean has an impressive bite mark on his neck with no idea how to hide it come morning. In that moment, though, looking down at his sister, he can't bring himself to care.

He's completely forgotten about the bite mark until he walks into the kitchen the next morning and his father raises an eyebrow at him.

"You sneak out last night?" John asks. Dean hates to lie but in this case not lying would be worse.

"Yes, Sir. It won't happen again."

"You're twenty-one, Dean," his father tells him as he fights off a smile. "You don't have to sneak out." He quickly turns to Sam with a suspicious look. "You don't sneak out too, do you?"

"Never, Daddy," she tells him with a sweet smile before giving him a kiss on the cheek and leaving the kitchen. Dean glares at the back of her head and mumbles softly about evil sisters while he gets his coffee.

*

As Dean expected, the moment John's cast is removed he announces that they'll be leaving the next day.

At the end of Sam's last day at school, Dean pulls into one end of the school parking lot as an ambulance pulls out of the other. Dean's pretty sure he knows who's in it.

"She fell down the stairs. Bounced and tumbled all the way down like rag doll. The heel of her shoe broke. I always knew those things were dangerous. Let that be a lesson to every woman out there. High heels are hazardous to one's safety and possibly life."

"And to your teacher?" Dean asks as he starts the car.

"She'll recover but may be left with a fear of high heels and stairs."

*

Sam's sleeping with the help of a sedative when Dean catches their father filling a syringe with her blood. Dean's supposed to be sleeping himself and can tell that his father wasn't expecting to be caught.

"Gotta make sure no venom got into her blood when she was attacked. Jim has a friend who can look at it and make sure everything is okay." Dean doesn't buy it but he can't call his father on the lie. Dad tells him he'll be gone a few days, for them to rest up and heal and for him to watch out for his sister. Dean can't help but feel that his father's order to watch out for Sammy no longer means make sure she's safe but make sure she doesn't do anything bad.

He gives his father the expected 'Yes, Sir' confirmation that he's understood and briefly considers packing up their stuff and taking Sammy somewhere safe, somewhere no one suspects that she may be more than just a nice young woman, somewhere no one knows the reality about nightmares and monsters and the possibility that his sister might be one of those nightmares.

The thought is quick to leave, though. Dad would never hurt either one of them. Never.

*

"I dream about a shadowed man with yellow eyes. He's the one who told me what to do to Donald Palmer and the motel manager," Sam tells Dean, head pillowed on her brother's chest. "They've always been there for as long as I can remember, whispering to me when I sleep."

"Has the yellow-eyed man told you to do anything else?" Dean asks. He's almost afraid of the answer. What if there have been more that he hasn't been told about?

"Not yet but he probably will."

"And if he doesn't?"

Sam turns her head to look at Dean and smiles. She doesn't need the yellow-eyed man telling her what to do. She already does it on her own.

*

Dean is terrified the first time Sam has a vision while she's awake. One second she's talking a mile a minute and the next she's crying out and grabbing her head. Her legs give out and Dean catches her before she hits the floor and gently lowers her down.

There are tears in her eyes when she finally looks at him and for the first time, Dean sees fear in his sister's eyes.

"A man is locked in his garage, trapped in his car. Something's locked all the doors and started the car."

"You're normally asleep when you get these."

"And they're normally painless."

"We should call Dad."

"You called him from Lawrence and I called him when you were i_dying_/i. He didn't show. We can figure out what this all means on our own once my head stops pounding."

*

She's been gone for over two hours. Grabbed the car keys, told him she had an itch to scratch and kissed him on the cheek before leaving. He knows exactly what itch she had to scratch and he's worried. What if she got caught? What it she got hurt? His sister's good and she can take care of herself but it doesn't make her invincible.

It's nearing two in the morning when he's woken by the Impala's engine cutting off right in front of their motel room door.

There's a blood stain on her shirt sleeve, a smear on her flushed cheek and another on her temple. She's breathing heavily and her eyes are bright and trained on her brother. He's all she needs to have the perfect end to an already great night and he won't deny her that perfect ending.

*

He's just come back from talking to a victim's neighbour when he finds Sam sitting cross-legged at the head of the bed staring intently at her knife lying horizontally at the foot of the mattress. She doesn't budge when he walks in and if it weren't for the intense look of concentration on her face he would think she'd fallen asleep with her eyes open. He stands where he is, watching, until she breaks the silence by talking but keeps her gaze on the knife.

"Max Miller," she says. "He could move things with his mind. I did it then too and I know I can do it again."

"That was adrenalin, a one-time thing."

"I did it once, which means it's in me. I can do it again."

Nodding, Dean grabs a take-out flyer from the table to put in place of the knife. "Once you've given your head a little rest from all that staring, start with something lighter than your knife. Work your way up as you get stronger."

*

His father's last words keep running through Dean's mind, on constant replay through the rest of his stay at the hospital, while they watched their father's body burning, driving from town to town, watching his Sammy lying next to him sleeping.

i_If you can't save her, you have to kill her._/i

How is he supposed to kill her? Saving her would require changing who she is, something impossible to achieve, and killing her is something he could never bring himself to do, something he would never want to do. Not to his Sammy.

i_If you can't save her, you have to kill her._/i

He wonders what would have happened if his father had still been alive and he himself had died or if they were both still alive. Would their father really have killed his own daughter? Would Dean have been forced to take Sammy away to keep her safe from her own father? Would Sammy have killed Dad to keep herself alive? Dean hates himself for the relief he feels over knowing it's something he'll never have to worry about.

*

He'd expected her to like Ansem better. He'd reached the extent of his mind control powers and used them for bad. Instead, she took a liking to Andy. "Adorable," she'd called him. "Like a puppy."

She'd dragged him back the motel room – not that he'd protested – and proposed a deal. "You teach me mind control and I'll teach you how to move objects with your mind."

Dean watches them, watches his sister demonstrating by moving different objects around the room including Andy himself. She's patient with him as she explains and as he tries it. She doesn't stop working with him until he's managed to lift a flyer off the tabletop.

*

It takes Sam a little longer to master the mind control than it did the telekinesis but when she does, she's like a kid with a new toy. It may not be right but Dean has to admit it's got its perks.

He starts getting a little worried when she starts wondering if she can control the things they hunt. Her method of practising scares him even more. He damn near gets a heart attack when he finds her staring down a murderous spirit heading right for her. Her shotgun is by her side but she's not reaching for it.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Dean yells after blasting it away. He's never yelled at her before.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" she yells back. Dean stares at her in disbelief before shaking his head and walking out. She follows him, still complaining about him getting rid of the spirit, and Dean's had enough.

"Shut up! Just shut up! You are so goddamned reckless, convinced that nothing can hurt you, but guess what, Sam. It ican/i. Stuff can hurt you and stuff can ikill/i you. What happens to me if you die, huh? You ever stop to think about me in all of this?"

The fight is over as quickly as it began and the make-up sex is amazing but Dean still has to sit on the sidelines and hope nothing goes wrong while his sister tries to become all she can be.

*

Sam's taken by Yellow Eye's and when Dean finds her in Cold Oak, she's killed the last three special children, Andy included, as well as having found out she can control demons. The next thing Dean knows, Sam's dragging him off to some old cowboy cemetery in Wyoming and opening a Devil's Gate and he's killing the demon that killed their mother.

Everything happened so quickly and all Dean can do is sit down and wonder what the hell just happened and what comes next.

"I rule the world," Sam tells him with a giggle. He's pretty sure she's drunk.

"That's not funny," Dean answers with a frown.

"But it's true. It's what he made me."

And Dean knows it's true. Azazel made sure it was a part of her and now Sam's going to lead an army of demons and Dean has no idea what he's going to do during all of this besides follow her, protect her from the good people trying to stop her and hope for the best.


End file.
